"I keep thinking this will get easier," Evelyn murmured into her cellphone. Voice kept low to keep from disrupting the sleep of the people she lived with at the late hour of three am. "But then some part of him resurfaces in my life. Hanging around to keep me haunted for the rest of my life."
"Ghosts don't go away because you want them to Sweet Pea," explained the masculine voice on the other end. "Not when you wander the world of the living so close to where they lurk." He continued on, placing hope that his words would come off as soothing even if they didn't quite come out that way.
Evelyn sighed, exasperated with the whole situation, but feeling trapped with it indefinitely. A moment of silence followed afterwards instead of a single word of argument that she was sure her friend was expecting. Had this been any other time it would have happened, instead she was done with it. Not wanting to spend any extra time on a call that created more guilt to float around in her head. Except it was these very same calls, same little conversations that she felt guilty about that got her shakily through the day. "Where am I supposed to escape from him, from this?"
A loaded question to add to their growing tension was how Bartholomew viewed it. He knew what he wanted to say about it, but unfortunately he had a sinking feeling that Evelyn wouldn't be on board with the idea. Regardless, the words churned over and over again in his head while neither of them spoke. "Move in with me," he finally said, straining to keep himself calm, collected.
You're one of the ghosts I'm haunted by, Evelyn stopped herself from saying, rolling her rose tinted bottom lip between her teeth to halt the words in their wicked tracks. She had thought of the possibility before when their courtship first heated up before other parts of her life had begun to spiral out of control. "You know I can't," she managed to say, her voice trembling as she spoke.
Bartholomew had expected this sort of response, but that didn't stop it from bothering him. It was one thing to expect it and then a whole different thing to hear the words aloud. Hearing it crushed even the smallest hints of hope. Despite this he forged ahead, steeling himself for the next part, the worst of it. "No, I don't... Not anymore... Why can't you do it now?"
"It's not fair to his memory," Evelyn began, tensing up even more. It was as if mentioning this last tie into her ghost made the whole ordeal real.
"I can't keep doing this... Especially when eventually you need to move on. I want to be who you move on with, but I can't keep waiting on the side lines like this for a day that might not come." There, he finally managed to say part of what he felt, now if only he had dared to say it earlier. Maybe then it would feel less like a death sentence to their lust turned love turned, well, he wasn't sure what anymore.
Evelyn knew this to be true. One day she would have to brave the sun again and resume life as she knew it. This knowledge did little to aid her in the moment, especially when it was thrust into her face. "Then leave, get out of my life. You don't know what it's like, how much it hurts... How much I blame myself..." The last line a whisper followed by the sound of choked back tears.
Bartholomew sighed, unsure of what else to say. He didn't believe that Evelyn should blame herself for a freak occurrence, but his opinion on the matter was moot. It had failed to ease Evelyn's pain the day of the accident and during the subsequent days, what use would it be now? "Then I guess this is goodbye. My heart can't keep being a rock for someone that's not ready to be one back... I'll always love you..." Bartholomew hung up then, unable to bring himself to hear her response, her defense. It had been difficult enough to speak the words aloud without immediately breaking down. With the call now over he slumped back into his recliner as he let loose his hold on his phone without a second thought. He couldn't even bother to glance over as it hut on to his laminate hardwood flooring.
Meanwhile, Evelyn was left speechless as the call was disconnected. There had always been some unspoken belief of mutual love, but hearing the actual declaration was heart wrenching. This sudden vocalized announcement left her wondering if perhaps she had dismissed his suggestion too readily, too easily. Racing thoughts that pressed at the idea to call him back, attempt to salvage this. She didn't though, somewhere in the back of her head was a voice whispering it would be a poor idea that would only end in more tears, more heartbreak.
No comments:
Post a Comment