Saturday, October 29, 2011

Preoccupied with Indecision

          "I want to disconnect," she whispered; pale blue eyes locked on her folded hands. "Not just from you, but from the world for a day or two, or maybe more. Leave the computer in hibernation, unplug the telephone, and hide the cellphone somewhere I can lose it. See if anyone can find me during that time, see if anyone cares to worry or if it'll just be silence when I resurface," she continued as if in a trance. Word after word spilled out as she toyed with her hands, folded them again, and repeated the process as if on auto pilot.
          Theodore watched her face at first; brows furrowed together as he tried to make sense of the void of facial movement. His gaze soon lowered from Rose's pale face to her restless hands, note after note taken on the patterns formed. "And what if someone does attempt to find you? If there's not just nothing waiting for when you return?" He asked, his voice steady and quiet; an accomplishment given his usual boisterous nature. "Would you be prepared to accept that maybe, just maybe, there are people that care about your absence?"
           The quiet, calculated words hung in the air as Rose's eyes perked up; flashed a sign of their normal brightness before they dimmed again. Silence hung heavy in the air as she continued to let the ideas sink into her head. They were certainly questions she had given a moment's thought to when the plan to disappear had first popped into her head, but that was it. Just a moment's thought and nothing more; no serious consideration, no worry that someone would even ask them.
            As she leaned forward in her seat on the couch an almost inaudible sigh was let out. "Then... I don't know," she choked out slowly; aggravated at herself for the lack of a real answer. Biting her lip in an attempt to refocus herself, Rose went to speak again to try to give Theodore something, anything to work with. "Then it happens. Then someone out there is watching just a small blip on the radar of life with more than a casual glance. And maybe I'll ask them what took them so long to say something, maybe it'll feel how I want it to feel," she rambled off; voice strained towards the end as she held back tears of frustration. "But then, would it be because of my amazing presence or because there's just a white blur that seemed to be amiss? Replaced easily if the time was given. Maybe not in a day or two, but surely a week would be enough."
            With those last words spoken she stood up as a way to dismiss further conversation on the matter. Her petite body swaying from an array of shivers that coursed through her body for a few seconds; starting from her bare feet as they hit the floor and ending around her upper back. Theodore watched as she stood; grinding his bottom lip between his teeth.

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