Super Hero Power

          Tick. Tock. The familiar, constant movement of the library's study room's singular analog clock provided comfort for the room's only inhabitant. On a normal day that continuous, monotonous noise would go by unnoticed by the aforementioned person, but today there were no other distractions for them to focus on. Instead they were stuck waiting and hoping that their normal distraction comrade would show her face at some point, preferably sooner rather then later. Until such a time the person in the room kept their focus on that repetitious noise to keep steady, to avoid falling victim to frustration and hopelessness.
          "I'm beginning to think that your standard belief is that I won't show," a feminine voice stated from near the back entrance of the room. "At least that's the message your body tends to convey when I'm late," the owner of the voice added on as the original occupant of the room straightened up in their seat and turned to look at the new arrival.
          "Probably because your definition of late starts at a thirty minute minimum," the male that had already been in attendance pointed out. "It's not exactly the best confidence builder," he added on, his body still turned to allow him to keep his jade green eyes on the girl.
          "If you know my habits so well you should plan around them," the girl shot back, her long pale legs made short work of the room as she strode to the front of the room as she spoke. She spun around on the balls of her left foot then to face the desk that the young man was seated at.
          "I tried that once, somehow you were still thirty minutes late. Pretty sure that's your super hero power." The male commented as he turned to sit back in the chair properly. A broad smile was on his face now, the dimples on his face quite evident.
          "Shoot, you figured me out. Now to keep you quiet with my secret. I could either kill you or seduce you to keep it safe," proclaimed the twenty something year old female as she turned around again. She scooted back then to press her butt up against the edge of the desk. Raising her right leg up she half hopped, half slid into a seated position on the desk, turned to face towards her friend. Leaning down she brushed her lips against the young man's left cheek, planting a quick kiss there. "Personally I'm a face of the seduction option," she whispered, winking as she sat up straight.
          The boy's naturally tanned cheeks lit up as he felt the girl's smooth, soft lips against them. Unsure of how to respond at first he sat there dumbfounded, his left hand mindlessly rubbing his cheek. "Tease," he managed to stammer out after a little while, tilting his chin up to look at the girl better.

Just Up and Leave

          Dusk had settled over the sleepy town of Bakersville. Dulled over blues and pinks still lingered in the sky from the day's sunset. A sunset that was met by the ringing sound of glass against glass; a toast between friends to ring out the final day of summer. Tomorrow their school lives would resume, but for tonight they were free for a little while longer. Not that other obligations had failed to intrude on their time, school was merely a different sort of feeling, sort of trap in this nowhere town.
         "There has to be so much more than this," Adelaide declared from his propped up position against an ancient oak tree. To illustrate his point he swept his right arm through the air in front of him, gesturing at the world surrounding them.
         "Says who? Maybe this is what the rest of the world experiences. All of the same old woes and joys. They may differ in the exact details, but maybe it's all really the same," countered Edith as she adjusted her position against Adelaide to account for his movement.
         "Maybe, but we don't know for certain. Won't know until we get out of this nowhere town and try to experience something different, something better than all of this." Adelaide stated, his words a rush of thoughts he had been having for months. Excitement over the prospect of leaving coursed through him as he spoke, causing his legs to shake as he was unable to stay completely still. Movement that caused now empty glasses to fall over, rolling their merry way down to the edge of the rainbow zebra patterned blanket Edith and him shared. "Like tonight we could get back in my jeep and run. Be somewhere new before anyone even knows we're gone."
         "What will we do when we get there? Find the same drab jobs? Find new friends to try and fit in with?" Edith asked despite having made up her mind to go. A decision made evident by her standing up, abandoning her comfortable position nestled up against Adelaide, a look of determination on her face. Swinging her left fluorescent pink oxford Converse clad foot towards the vehicle in question.
         "Anything we want Baby Cakes. We can reinvent ourselves, choose to be whoever we feel like being. And when we're done we'll disappear into the night to become someone new." Adelaide answered, green brown eyes seemingly pulsing with vibrant energy as he spoke. He stood then, rocking back on his feet to stay in motion. Absently tugging at the bottom of his green shirt with two bears on it at chest level with one wearing a hat and a polka dot tie proclaiming that some days he felt pretty average, righting the rumbled mess that it had become due to Edith's head resting on his midsection for hours.
         "What if I don't want to be someone new every time?" Edith inquired, feeling confident of the answer already. She was addicted to the way Adelaide spoke with such enthusiasm, such exuberance when an idea gripped him. Each word was punctuated by a step towards Adelaide's '06 Jeep Cherokee which had been an early birthday present from his parents.
         "Then stay the same, do whatever makes you happy. You know I'll love you no matter what you decide to do." Responded Adelaide as he stayed rooted to the spot by the oak tree over looking the lake by his family's cabin. As thrilled as he was at the prospect of following through with one of his life ambitions with the woman he had just admitted he was in love with he was also terrified of the unknown.

The View from Below

          They hung loose on her hips, dipping down one side or another to reveal a hint of the tanned skin underneath until she noticed and pulled them up. Those devilish dark blue jean shorts with their frayed cuffs were the teasing bane of Winston's life. A near constant reminder of what he couldn't have from his lowly position as the friend, well best friend, but that did little to assist with the situation. From that position he always noticed the slips, the little hints of a world he was denied long before Penny became conscious of them, corrected them. Even those actions held an allure for him, though he wished that they didn't. After all, they had a way of entrapping him, of getting him caught in the act of staring in slack jawed appreciation.

         Aware of a look that Penelope, or Penny as she preferred, shook off more often than not she reached down to slide her right thumb through one of the belt loops on her cut off shorts and tugged them upwards to right them. Momentarily Winston frowned at this development despite knowing full well that it would happen, it always did in the end. With it came a shift of his attention; the return of his gaze to his partner in crime since elementary school's oval face. Not surprised at all by the scowl his renewed facial observation was met with. Exchanges of expressions such as that were becoming increasingly more common place.

         "You can hardly blame me for looking," Winston stated for what felt like the thousandth time. "I'm a blue blooded male and you're what we like to call a ten," he added on in way of explanation of his defense.

         Penny rolled her eyes at this declaration. "No, I'm what we like to call a 5.9, maybe a 6.9 on an extra fabulous day. Besides I can blame you all I want. We're just friends and you know better mister needs to keep it in his trousers." She countered, tilting her head down to better stare at Winston from her heightened position near the top of the slide's ladder she had paused to fix her shorts.

         "We're only just friends because you won't give me a chance," Winston grumbled quite audibly as he stood to the left side of the rickety metal slide they had discovered in an overgrown part of their favorite park, waiting for his turn on it.

         "I don't want to ruin our friendship and you know that I'm still dating Bentley," Penny grumbled right on back as she situated herself on the top of the slide, shivering as her mostly bare legs came into contact with the chilly surface of the slide. Perfect position found, Penny pulled her lavender tinted aviator goggles down over her cornflower blue eyes, taking a moment to fix her ruffled up chocolate brown hair with natural lighter brown highlights.

         "Bentley the tool," mumbled Winston under his breath as he stepped towards the bottom of the slide for a better view. "Systems are all clear for take off," he announced as he pulled out his phone from the right front pocket of his dark wash blue jeans to capture a video of the first slide launch.

         Penny frowned for a moment at hearing Winston's mumbled comment, but decided to not say anything in response as she wasn't in the mood for that argument today. "One, two, three, and blast off!" She exclaimed before beginning her rapid descent down the slide. Squealing in delight as she quickly slid down the short right Penny raised her arms up to relish in every last second.

Why I'll Die A Crazy Cat Lady

          For a while now I've been meaning to write out a list of things that I like in guys because that's a conversation that comes up every now and again. You get to talking with someone and if you're close enough it just sort of happens, gets brought up some how. The thing is I'm never entirely sure how to answer that one. I want lots of things, I think in the moment, how do I list them all? Must be funny, must be charming, must be romantic, must be blah blah blah. Except the thing is, those all sound a little wrong when I write them out or say them aloud. While yes, those are nice, they're not quite on spot for what could really make or break things. Lots of people are charming, are nice, are funny, are something and that's great, but definitely not quite enough.
          It came up again recently while talking to an online friend and I decided right then screw it, I'm going to figure this out to some extent and eventually post it for the world to see... That was nearly a month ago and I'm just now getting around to the posting part. I have worked on it since then, started at work one night on a piece of scrap paper. Since then it has evolved some and been tinkered with while feigning interest in the dramatics surrounding me at my main day time employment. All in all I think they're reasonable requirements of sorts... Even if I'm also completely sure that they're why I'll die a crazy cat lady.

          1.) Doesn't regularly make me want to feed him to sharks.
                    - You would think that this is sort of something that makes sense, but I've come to realize that I have a tendency to never pay attention to it until mixed signals have happened or I've said I'm interested in someone. Likeships make you blind or something. Also, I don't literally mean I am going to feed someone to a shark just that sometimes I am done with a situation, an action, something.
          2.) Can and does text.
                    - Here's the deal, I live at work quite often and my main form of communication with my all over the place schedule is text messaging. Calls are pretty rad too, but those aren't always on the table as an option. Thus if I can't text you and have you respond fairly consistently (because hey, life does happen), it just isn't a good fit. That isn't to say if they never text me for like a day or two I'm going to flip the fuck out, just that it should be understood I'm a texter in the worst way.
          3.) Drinks like a fish or at least accepts the fact that I do.
                    - The acceptance part is the one that truly matters. I co-host party events, I enjoy going to parties with other people, I socially drink like a fish and I like it. It's one of those things that will possibly die down with time, but for right now it's a part of me and I'm not going to change it just to be with someone.
          4.) Is capable of playing board games and the like while drinking like a fish.
                    - Not everyone is capable of this, which is a shame at times but it's also okay to an extent. I'm not talking games where you have to really think out your turn (MtG, agricula, etc.), but if you can't even handle Cards Against Humanity while drunk then please go home, <3.
          5.) Accepts drunk dials in good humor.
                    - Yeah, okay, I'm kind of notorious for this. I'm not looking for involved conversations or deep ones. More of a shout, some laughs, and being screamed at by multiple drunk individuals.
          6.) Capable of interacting with other hooman beings.
                    - This is another one of those things that I wish I didn't have to state, but it's something that I've encountered before. Even with my general dislike of people I still enjoy social activities and those involve conversing with other people for unknown lengths of time. Also, as a co-host, I won't always be hanging on the arm of someone to make sure they're okay, they're fine, they're not hiding in a corner. This is true for events I'm not helping in running, but yea...
          7.) Similar taste and thoughts on music.
                    - This is more of a super idealistic one since I do not often find people that listen to the same bands as I do. Really though, the more important part is the thoughts on music. I am not one to beat other genres into the ground, to hate on other music that may aid someone else in their life. I like music for it being music, for it making me happy. 
          8.) Loves going to concerts - even random ones chosen on a whim.
                    - I miss concerts something fierce, especially going to them with someone else. There's just something to said about the whole experience and there's so much joy involved for me. Like yea, it's cool that it's not everyone's thing, but it is mine and I want to share it.
          9.) Doesn't constantly beat jokes into a bloody pulp.
                    - Some jokes are hilarious, some can last, and some you just wish you never told someone because ohmygosh they never let it go. Seriously. Dude. For cereals. Just let it die already.
          10.) Embraces his inner child.
                    - Lets go to the zoo! The aquarium! Wonder around a toy store or any store just being silly and looking at things. Be silly, be weird... Color in a book, play with fingerpaints... Just, yea.
          11.) Has hair long enough to fiddle with and doesn't mind it being played with. (As a tie in, if there's a beard, also doesn't mind it being touched.)
                    - This one basically speaks for itself. Like, for realsies.
          12.) Enjoys adventures with and without concrete destinations.
                    - I love road trips to places I have a plan for and those ones you take on a whim. Lets get in the car and just go, go, go.
          13.) Plays video games (especially RPGs) and isn't a douche about it.
                    - The isn't a douche part is quite important. I've met plenty of people who play games that can be absolutely rude over how they're so much better at it than you, that they beat it so quickly, that it is the best best best and everything else is the worst thing ever. I just enjoy them because they're fun to me, I have no reason to hate on other games in a real serious manner. As for playing them in general, I am all for hanging out and playing an rpg even if it is one player because it's just awesome.
          14.) Has a life outside of the relationship.
                    - It's a matter of a healthy existence. If the only thing that exists is the relationship and thus me then I'mma be a worried bee. It's just not right. There was a life before me, there should be one with me.
          15.) Capable of taking care of himself.
                    - This sort of ties in with number fourteen. We're adults, lets both be pals that can pay for our stuff and hang out and not be completely reliant on one another.
          16.) Isn't a hairy beast.
                    - Seriously, so much seriousness there. Too much hair freaks me the frack out and makes me uncomfortable. Like. Why... Why is there so much hair everywhere?

          And now for a couple of bonus notations..

          Bonus 1.) Has a nifty accent.
                    - I'm a sucker for a Scottish accent and even a fair amount of southern ones (it's the word reckon that really helps there.) So dating someone with one? Super duper extra nifty.
          Bonus 2.) Has a ginger beard.
                    - This sort of started as a joke once, but really they're kind of magnificent in a way. Not that other colored beards are bad or anything, they're just inferior.

          So right, I believe number one is the main reason I will be forever alone and die a crazy cat lady.

A Disaster is Always Better Than Playing with a Sure Thing

          The late shift normally agrees with me. I can settle away in my head as music plays, letting myself drift through the wee hours. The tiny projects I want to complete are worked on, unlike what tends to happen the rest of the time. A doodle here, some writing there, a book to cozy up with; little things conspiring together to keep time flowing, to keep me engaged. Problem is that at times my head drifts too far away, it goes wandering down dark little paths crisscrossed with tangled webs. Dark little paths that beckon, that holler, that demand attention I wish I better resisted giving to them, allowing them to have.
          That first sparked reaction is troublesome, is my downfall. What may have been a regular night filled with nothing terrible, nothing disorientating can suddenly become rocked, shaken vigorously. Frustrating chain reactions that burst, that explode, that keep pulling me back under waves I cannot see anymore. A set of reactions I should expect ahead of time, should be able to prepare for before the inevitable happens, but I cannot. The thought patterns differ, they evolve from time to time, and they are not always recognizable as something that will make me want to crawl out of my skin.
          Instead I am hit full force with that need, that desire to depart, to flee, to engage in the flight reaction. Responses that I cannot cater to, cannot give into as badly as I wish to, so other actions are taken to counteract whatever it is that plagues me, that wants to drown me. Pacing in the lobby, a short loop that does nothing to deter the thoughts at the edge of my mind dancing in the shadows where they can play peek-a-boo. A book left open to bed read through in spurts, between the times where I grasp at images that turn, that twirl, that spiral out of control. Music in the background, soft and quiet, lyrics that attempt to keep me grounded for the most part. Some songs pull me, drag me towards memories that crush, towards thoughts I am not fond of entertaining. Words written in a manic rush, in a slow meticulous fashion, in ups and downs to try to halt things.
          Madness, a mess, a mistake...

An Insignificant Dot in a Large Circle

          I realized recently that it has been quite some time since I have managed to settle down in front of a computer and just type away to my hearts content, to ramble away until the sun is beckoning for me to sleep like the vampire that I regularly become. At first it was a matter of losing my dear laptop. A devastating problem that still exists and may one day be remedied if I ever properly prioritize reacquiring a computer of some sort. Since then it has changed to being a matter of not knowing how to begin, where to start, what to say to get those little thoughts in my head rolling. That's the problem that has plagued me since my computer access has grown from nonexistent to while I whittle away at the late night hours for work multiple days a week. What a terrible problem.
          The thing is I'm not even sure if I could in all conscious say that it's because I don't know how to get things started. There are several, many, a plethora of beginnings to draw from, choose from, to decide between. Knowing that, accepting that means that I am aware that my drive is fairly low for things that I pretend to be passionate about. Well, okay, that's not completely true either as I do scribble out rambles in my notebooks, on my arms, on tiny scraps of paper... They just don't all make it out into the lime light, they don't all get on stage for the amusement of a nonexistent crowd. Most days I am convinced this is better for all parties involved as angst isn't entirely exciting. Angst is the wrong word, it's overused, it devours all the categories similar to it... That's a different story, a different ramble I think, I believe, I'll make it so.
          What I mean is that I don't think everyone needs to know every thought that scampers, runs, tumbles its way through my hyperactive mind, my dull mind, my confused mind. I have notes about how I've met some people, of what I thought during those early days of blooming friendships, rough days at work, little things, meaningless things to people that aren't me. Then there are the funny things like my list of things I like in boys titled why I'll die a crazy cat lady. Which I feel should be posted sometime, maybe even tonight, tomorrow... However days work, they're kind of quite terribly confusing. But yes, you see, the mix isn't for all, it's not even for me... Ugh, that's all broken and I don't even want to fix it anymore.
          Anyway, back to the beginning, to what I wanted to say some time ago... Minutes ago, seconds ago, this time business is still quite convoluted. This discovery of a lack of a proper ramble in months. The last one was almost exactly a year ago to give other people an idea of what I mean by months. Thus this post of ups and downs of twists and turns was born, was created, was dumped into the ether with only a bit of thought behind things being said, being typed, being declared.